Monday, March 8, 2010

Mere life itself, and a tribute

Now what was I going to write about? I need an update ... I'm tired of looking at that silly pet entry. Cute pictures, though.

Was it how I feel like I've never been so busy in my life, working two part-time jobs, driving around two teenagers who are growing up before my eyes? This week, we have something every evening (and often, several somethings) until Friday, when we all can collapse in exhaustion! Oops, I mean - have a family fun night!

Here are my two boys. Their eyes are glowing fiendishly in this pic, like typical teenagers.

Andrew told me tonight that I give him pimples. See, Moms are responsible for everything, especially the bad stuff!

No, that wasn't it.

Was it how the vehicles both seem to need maintenance every week now, since they both are at or above 150k miles? Dwaine said, we just can't get ahead. I said, at least it's not a financial crisis for us when the vehicles do need work. And then there's the matter of finding something for Austin to drive when he turns 16. No, not that.That's, like, just boring daily stuff. Clouds in my coffee, which I gave up for Lent.

What about those Oscars? Wasn't that the latest night ever? I turned it off before hearing any of the major awards! It was starting to cut into my beauty rest. I did like the hosts -- when did Alec Baldwin become a stand-up comedian? I missed something here. Gee, maybe if I'd been watching TV for the last decade, I'd have a clue. Maybe that's why Steve Martin had to be there for the assist, and I do adore Steve Martin.

I think I've only done one hard workout in the past four days, and that's just not enough to keep all pistons fully firing. I feel so blaaaaaah, mentally and physically. Too much rest isn't a good thing. I cannot focus.

And, what about how we watched half of Lawrence of Arabia, our Netflix movie that has been collecting dust due to the Winter Olympics, and I don't believe I ever saw this great classic film before, and I never knew camels made all those noises or could run that fast? In one scene, featuring about 50 of the beasts, they literally sounded like NASCAR autos getting ready to race. Someday we'll get to the other half, hopefully still remembering what happened before. I refuse to return it only half watched.

And, when will the Oscars finally get environmentally smart and have a category for best animal actor/actress?

How about Bible study? I go with reluctance; it's such a sacrifice to stay at church from 10:30 (when Sunday school ends) till 3:15 or so every week. The class technically begins at 12:15, but it's not worth it to go home in between. But I go, and then we have these incredible conversations that need to happen. Like yesterday, when Kristie asked whether a soldier killing someone in the line of duty constitutes murder. She asked this, married to an Army guy, sitting across from another retired military man, and beside another one. I have to say she's got guts! And we had a nuanced conversation about how it takes a permanent toll to kill other people, even during the most justified of wars.

Kristie also mentioned how Mary Magdalene was supposed to be commissioned as a disciple of Jesus, she read in an apocryphal book not included in our Bible. She's the mother of two daughters; she needs Christianity to reflect strong womanhood, which is quite the challenge.

Bill spoke up and said he can't understand "pro-life" people who talk about prohibiting all abortions in one breath, and then move on to say, that rapist should fry in the electric chair!

We actually have a pretty diverse group, thanks to the big-tent approach of Methodism. I could never go to any other church in Floresville.

And we also had our time of pleasant talking, which I need, but I also feel this tension, like my mind is thinking of other things that seem, quite possibly, more important. I'm just not a socialite.

Here's something I was thinking of, speaking of that. A tribute to a loved one.

I don't remember exactly when I started really loving this person deeply. It definitely didn't happen all at once. For many years, it was a love-hate relationship, very emotional, like my relationship with everyone important in my life. Like my relationship with God, too.

Maybe I first really fell in love at the Walk to Emmaus during candlelight. This is a 4-day retreat, and during that time, you have a surprise party thrown for you. It's amazing -- one of the times I have experienced, very personally and deeply, the wonder of God's love.

So, this person is smart, though lacking in common sense. Funny. Quiet, intense. Physical. Wanting to see the whole picture, not just one perspective. By the way, in the Chinese zodiac, a snake: "Wise and intense, with a tendency towards physical beauty. Vain and high-tempered. The cock and ox are your best signs. Avoid the tiger." Yes, I think that's exactly how it is printed on countless paper placemats in American Chinese restaurants everywhere. And this description is so eerily accurate. Not the vanity part though, surely?

This person is indecisive, at times. Uncertain. Living with adult ADD, a strong likelihood. But overall, just really amazing. And I'm so glad I get to spend my entire life with her/me -- Julie! So I do want to thank you, Julie, for allowing me to see things through your eyes, and live in your body, which so far is still full of grace. It's been quite a journey, one I hope continues for many years. Yes, somehow, there is something that goes deeper than this mere human being, and it is from this deeper consciousness that I can thank myself-you. And the outpouring of my love for Julie is what makes it possible to embrace the wider world with love and compassion.

As I tell my kids, Ily! (I-love-you)

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