Monday, May 17, 2010

Death and dying

I just visited a blog that described in a deeply compassionate way someone's end of life. What a tragedy it is when a loved one dies. How horrible that we "put animals out of their misery" but not people. How we pretend to go about our daily routine, in the midst of death and dying. How jarring it is, to eat the next meal, when your loved one has just died (or is in final days) and will never, ever, eat again. It is a guilty, haunting feeling to eat at that time. It is part of what separates you from the dying and dead, and you almost feel that you are pushing away your dearly beloved who can never share another meal with you.

I have been there for death a couple of times, now, the loss of loved ones, and I guess I am looking at it from a different place just this moment. Yes, it's terribly sad ... for those who are left behind. Is it necessarily a great tragedy? I am not sure, at all.

Is birth a great tragedy? All babies are born to die, someday.

I know it is a great struggle when someone is not ready to die. I have not been around someone who was ready to go, though I read about it in "Tuesdays with Morrie." It's part of what made that book so compelling, was the deep wisdom Morrie tapped into in being ready to go.

Here's a weird random thought I had today. If I were going to die at the age my mom died, I would have completed 2/3 of my life already.

I hope, really wish for that readiness and composure when it's my time, if I get to think about it at all. I think it would be so helpful to the ones I would leave behind, to be ready. I hope I can age gracefully! You know, once I really get to middle age. Yeah, that's way far down the horizon for me.

Because I could not stop for Death -- He kindly stopped for me-- Emily Dickinson, excerpt.


  1. You must have read The Jason Show. I just found him! He's awesome.

  2. Thank you for your well written piece. Many of us unfortunately have read horror stories about the funeral business. Regrettably there are companies selling cremation urns online which are not much more reputable. While they spend lavish amounts of money on web sites dripping with sympathy – many of these companies are nothing more than a site that drop ships product. Beware of sellers that do not have a physical address or the names of the principals of the company on the site – what are they hiding from? I had an issue with a company called Perfect Memorials ( ) and there was no one from the company that would talk to me. While I could call to order an urn – I could not speak to an owner or manager over the phone – they insisted that we only communicate via email. An evasive tactic if I ever saw one! Perfect Memorials is really a company that invested heavily in the web – but puts very little into the human contact part of the funeral/memorial industry. I would be careful of and others like them.


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