Friday, June 28, 2013

Here for others

When I'm feeling down, when I'm feeling blue, it is a great consolation to remember that I am not here for myself! I am here to help others. Not just my family either, but all of creation.

That sounds so lofty, but helping is usually done in simple daily acts; how you live your life, even driving courteously on the road, sharing a laugh with the checkout person at HEB, and so on. It's easier and closer than it seems. (I tell myself)

I also believe that prayer and meditation bring positive energy to the world, as well. A world dearly in need of positive energy, love and compassion!

If this life were a selfish act and I was here for personal self-development or whatever, I'd be ready to trade in this rental body and go on to the next big thing. What I am experiencing should probably not be called pain or suffering, so much as the ennui of a modern American life. As busy as you want, but ultimately empty of deeper meaning; social isolation the norm. Our possessions cage us in and control our time. Enough whining about the good life! Life free from poverty, violence, disease, and natural disasters, in which there's plenty of room and time for me to ruminate about what is wrong with my blessed life.

I think I'm struggling with saying a sort of goodbye to my children (Austin moves into an apartment Aug. 15), and that my life has been too defined by them. Like a man who defines his life by his career and then retires, I'm drifting. I would love to plunge into more volunteer work (currently just helping with Funlympics a few hours a week, a great event you can read about here). However, I have a shortage of time, or more accurately, inconsistent amounts of time throughout the year. I've put out feelers to the Floresville hospital (no response) and other places for volunteer work, and nothing has come through yet. I met an amazing woman who does contemplative prayer as a prison ministry and invited me to do so, but it's not at a good time for me.

I'm sure God will put something in my path, and I will keep my eyes open and hopefully my heart, too.


  1. “One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die. This life appears unbearable, another unattainable. One is no longer ashamed of wanting to die; one asks to be moved from the old cell, which one hates, to a new one, which one willl only in time come to hate. In this there is also a residue of belief that during the move the master will chance to come along the corridor, look at the prisoner and say: "This man is not to be locked up again, He is to come with me.”

    ― Franz Kafka, Blue Octavo Notebooks

  2. I'm not sure I want to have a world view more like Kafka!! Didn't he write the book about the man turning into a giant cockroach? (He did; I just Googled it. Why ask anything anymore when you can just Google it?)

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  4. We are ready to keep it up and ready to teach provided you are ready to learn.
    Spiritual journey


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